I remember asking myself, one early Saturday morning cycling to work, what the heck I was doing awake this early and going to a job I did not like?
It seemed incredibly unfair to me. A feeling of deep misery came over me. I questioned what I was doing and why I was doing it and I soon came to the conclusion that I was doing something I just did not want to do.
The only reason I was actually doing it, was because in society, that was the norm. It was that unspoken cultural rule that I was adhering too which meant that you have to be busy and you have to work otherwise you are a nuisance to society.
Whilst on my bicycle my thinking changed and I thought that it was completely ridiculous to be doing something I dread, just because that was the norm. So I made the decision to quit. Even more importantly I made the decision to never again do work that I did not enjoy.
Thanks to this decision a new realisation arose in my mind. I saw that some things are within your control and some aren’t. It is up to you to accept the things you can’t change and to change the things you can’t accept.
Things you DO NOT have control over
- Weather
- Other people’s actions
- What other people think of you
- World Events (Economics, War etc.)
- The colour of your neighbour’s house
For example, we complain about the weather, wishing it was different to what it is right now. But the fact is that you have absolutely zero control over the weather, so stop complaining about it, you are wasting your time and energy. Instead, accept the fact that you can’t change the weather and enjoy what it has to offer there and then. This acceptance will bring a sense of peace and calm over you.
Things that you DO have control over
- Your job
- Your friends
- The place you live
- Your general health
- Your happiness
- The colour of your house
There are many things in life that you might not like i.e. your job, but that doesn’t mean you have to stick to that job for the rest of your life. In this case, you do have the control to change the situation.
Change usually comes with hard choices and decisions to make though. For example, you found an opportunity to move to another city to work in a job that you would actually enjoy, but all your family and friends are based in the town that you are currently working in. You have a choice and a decision to make- should you go to a new job which you’ll enjoy more, but will separate you from your loving family and friends or should you stay in the same town and with the same boring job to be close to your loving family and friends.
It is up to you though to make that choice and decide for yourself which route you want to take. Should you, after weighing the pros and cons of moving towns, decide that moving to another city impacts your social life too much, then that is OK. The difference is that you took a step back and took control by creating a choice for yourself.
Take control. It truly is up to you.
Nice post, Wouter. There is ALWAYS always a choice …!
Thank you! There is always a choice indeed!