At times I get into a state of bliss. Usually when I read, meditate, listen to music or a combination of the three.
Everything that is not important fades away. Only what matters – love – is present. I wish to remain in this state. To do that I have to let go of the non-important stuff.
Immediately fear comes over me, because I tie my entire self-identity to those non-important things. What is left of me when I let all that go? Who am I when I am not a pilot, not an adventurer, if I don’t earn money? Ultimately I am infinitely more beautiful and loving than all the non-important stuff.
To let all that go, feels like I’m about to jump in a cold pool: part of me does not want to, but the better part of me knows that when I jump, it is worth it.
I am not so much afraid of letting go, but more of the unknown. What is next? Now I don’t have a job, no income, no story to tell. It is scary, it feels like stepping into the dark. But in truth I will be stepping into the light.